Well Shut My Mouth!

Job answered: "I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me. I should never have opened my mouth! I've talked too much, way too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen." (Job 40:3-5 MSG)

This is supposed to be my last semester of school. The plan... my plan... was to register for classes this month finish by late April, graduate in May and finally be finished . I had it all worked out. I was going to pay for school with my tax refund and graduate free and clear. Then work messed up the W-2s. I had a mini panic moment, but the replacement papers came in plenty of time so I was happy and back on course, right? Wrong! My 401k company announced that we don't get our paperwork until mid February... What??? Um... class STARTS on the 13th - are you kidding me??? [sidebar: Notice how my panic level is slightly more... elevated at this point? [Yeah, pouting and whining are NOT a good look on me]. I went into rant mode -

Don't you see, God - this throws everything off schedule!
     {whose schedule?} 
My schedule! It has already taken me so long to go back to school and I've put it so much work.- why the delay now?
     {do you trust ME?}
What does that have to do with anything?! Of course I trust you. This isn't about trust...
     {isnt it?}
Uh.. no it isn't. [She crosses arms in a huff]

Yeah, so I've been stewing over this situation for a couple weeks now. It really rattles me when things get thrown off track like this and my beloved order is messed with. So I admit, my bottom lip has been poked out and everything. I'm guessing that's why God had a good girlfriend of mine sent me the following:

Me (in a tizzy): God, may I ask you something?

GOD: Sure.
Promise you won't get mad?
GOD: I promise.
(frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
GOD: What do you mean?
: Well I woke up late,
GOD: Yes
: My car took forever to start,
(growling): At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I ad to wait
GOD: Hmmmm..
: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call
GOD: All right
(loudly): And to top it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work. Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
GOD: Well let me see..... the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
(humbled): Oh...
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you if you were on the road
(ashamed): ............
GOD: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work
Me(embarrassed): Oh.....
GOD: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give a false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered
(softly): I see, God
GOD: Oh and that foot massager, it had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
: I'm sorry, God.
GOD: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.........in ALL things, the good and the bad
Me: I WILL trust you, God
GOD: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children.

I got the point, but I my bad attitude continued to linger... 

This morning on the ride in to work, I started whining to my roommate about the situation. She listened (again... God bless her) and finally she said, "It will happen. Just know that God has his reasons for the delay." I sighed and quit my whining for the moment. Nobody - not even God - was "getting" it!

Fast forward to just now - I was sending an email and caught a glimpse of my auto signature which includes a picture of my book cover. I read the tagline that says the book will be released in March of 2012. No sooner had I finished reading the sentence than I heard His voice whisper, "You have never released a book before and you don't know all that is involved, the time commitment, the work level. It is a consuming process and school will make it difficult, so I delayed it - for your good." Whoa!!

I had a Job moment where all I could do was put my hand over my mouth and marvel at my own stupidity to think I am qualified to speak about things I have no idea about.

How awesome it is to be loved and cared for by a Heavenly Father who sees our big picture. My attitude is fixed to say the least and I'm left with only gratitude and awe.

What has the Lord been doing for your good lately?