Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times
Many of you know that my dad has dementia. Dealing with this illness has been difficult for me and for my family. For my mother it means coming to terms with the fact that the man she sees everyday is no longer the man she married. For my siblings and me, it means watching the man we grew up with change into someone we don’t recognize. Each one of us is dealing with the situation in his or her own way; quietly processing our personal pain and exercising our faith. For me, of course, writing is a big part of my process, so here goes…
The situation with my dad has put me in an awkward place; a place of uncertainty. I am less that fond of this place because it reminds me that I am NOT in control, which is a slightly troublesome thought for a control freak such as myself! In this place I have experienced a slew of emotions: fear, sadness, anger, bewilderment, joy (yes joy), love… You name it and I have experienced it. In all of this, one thing I am so grateful for is a God who allows us to go through our processes in our own time and in our own way. He is not put off by my stinky attitudes, my anger, my fear, my doubt. None of it catches Him by surprise and for all of it His grace remains sufficient.
Recently, I have felt kind of distant from God. I realized a few days ago that it is directly related to the situation with my dad and the fact that there are so many things I just don’t understand.
- I don’t understand how someone who dedicated his life to God’s service deserves to live out his latter days like this.
- I don’t understand how someone who once wrote so beautifully now cannot write a simple letter, or how a man who moved people and changed lives through the inspired words he spoke, now has trouble completing a sentence.
- I don’t understand how the man who was once so full of life now sleeps 85% of the time.
- I don’t understand how the man I had to run alongside to keep up with now moves so painfully slowly.
- I don’t understand what this experience is like for my dad.
- I don’t understand how the parent, becomes the child…
There are no pat answers to my questions; no simple words of comfort, although I so wish there were. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I have decided to work on shifting my focus from the many things that I don’t understand to things that I know. My list so far goes a little something like this (feel free to add more if you think of any):
- I know that God is FOR me (Ps 56:9 NKJV)
- I know that God will not put more on me that I can bear (I Corinthians 10:13 MSG)
- I know that God never sleeps nor slumbers do I don’t have to be awake nights (Ps 121 3-4 NIV)
- I know that God is faithful (Lam 3: 22-24 NLT)
- I know God is with me (Isa 43: 1-3a NLT)
- I know that God is working all things together for good (Rom 8: 28 NKJV)
- I know that God has a plan (Jer 29:11)
- I know that God never leaves us nor forsakes us (Heb 13:5 MSG)
In spite of everything that I don’t know, I know that all of the Word of God is true independent of my circumstances and for now, that is what I’m standing on. If you are facing difficulties today, won’t you stand with me on The ONLY Sure Foundation – Jesus Christ? He is guaranteed to see us through and to that, my friends, is Good News! Now have yourself an awesome day.