What Do You Call Two Doctors? A Paradox!
On one hand I have been inundated with ads, music, cards etc about Valentine’s Day. If it isn’t a sappy jingle reminding me that every kiss begins with “K,” or to run out and get a hallmark card and pick up a romantic CD with my purchase, blah, blah, blah ad nauseum. Lately, I’ve just taken to turning the channel, putting the TV on mute or turning it off altogether.
In case you haven’t guessed, this is my least favorite holiday. Don’t get me wrong, commercialism aside, I know what the intent of the day is in terms of it being a celebration of love. And I am truly happy for those who have found, kept, restored, or renewed love. In this day and age that’s a HUGE deal and I don’t take it lightly at all. For me however, it’s yet another reminder that for another year I have not. It’s akin to being struck with a massive wrecking ball that you know is coming for you every year. But wait! Put your violins away because these days it passes much quicker than it used to and I actually end up having a pretty good time in one form or another…
So where’s the paradox, you say? I’m so glad you asked! God with his unmatched sense of irony and humor has chosen NOW to being ministering to me about love and my heart. He couldn’t wait till Sunday or President’s Day… nooo, He starts when all the world is in the throes of Valentines Day!! Geez!
I actually blame my girlfriend Julia for planting this seed about the heart. She’s been sending me devotionals for about 2 years now from a man named John Eldredge. I’d never heard of him, and I admit that I was resistant at first. In fact, I didn’t even read all of them… but don’t tell Julia. In the back of my mind I started to wonder what about them made me so upset and defensive. I mean I read all kinds of stuff all the time, what was the deal here? She stopped sending them and I put it all out of mind… but God never forgets!
I realize I have a long road ahead, because there’s quite a bit of mending that needs to be done. And I know it’s not all going to be pleasant… but I’m ready to do the work. I’m ready for God to do His thing in me. The good news is that for the first time in a very long time, I feel like my heart is safe in God’s hands. I know it sounds funny, but in the past I gave it to him, then took it back when He wasn’t doing what I thought He should do, or I gave pieces of it to Him - keeping parts back for myself that I either didn’t want exposed or disturbed. Well, I’m done! I am admitting that MY WAY DOES NOT WORK! I can’t heal my own wounds and I’m so very tired of trying! I’m putting away the bandaids and Neosporin and allowing God to apply the Balm of Gilead. It looks like this is going to be a Happy Valentine’s Day after all!
A very Happy Valentines Day to all of you!