Wonder Woman... yeah, not so much.
and the power you possess.
In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth. Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do. Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds,
and change the world. Wonder Woman,
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.
(by Norman Gimbel & Charles Fox)
It seems like it was yesterday that I was sitting in the middle of the living room floor (not too close cause TV will ruin your eyesight) along side my little sister in our feet pajamas anxiously awaiting one of our favorite shows. The familiar notes of the baseline would start and we'd start singing along (is it just me, or is it the best theme song EVER?!) For the next 30 minutes (well, 22 if you factor in commercials) we be transfixed as we watched Wonder Woman save the world, beat the bad guys and uncover the truth. Who didn't want to be her?
Being Wonder Woman - a harmless childhood fantasy that somehow weaved it's way into my adulthood and became not so harmless. Somewhere along the line the fantasy turned into a standard for me. I began to feel like all the world was indeed waiting for me, that I had to be perfect at everything because people were counting on me. Without realizing it, I gave the impression to others that I was Wonder Woman, that I could be all things to all people. I couldn't and let me tell you - trying to be her was exhausting!!!
Not only was it exhausting but it was unhealthy. Putting unrealistic expectations on yourself or anyone else always is. Even worse it is rooted in pride. All of this came to a head in me recently when I tried to tackle an assignment that was simply too large for me. I thought I had to do it all, even the parts I wasn't sure how to do. It was my responsibility after all. All the world was waiting for me... or so it seemed. So when things did not go according to plan I was devastated! I felt like I had let everyone down. I was embarrassed. I was ready to pass the mantle on to someone else and fade quietly to the background...
Instead the person I'd let down offered grace and forgiveness, which should have made me happy (and it did once I got over myself) but ended up making me feel worse (there's that ugly pride again). I am a perfectionist to the nth degree and I don't do failure well at all. There's nothing I despise more than not doing something in excellence, so this really through me for a loop.
Once I moved past the "me-ness" of it, I was finally ready to let go of the fantasy and be myself. A woman who doesn't always have it together, who messes up, sometimes BIG time, who can't do it all alone, who needs the help, grace and forgiveness that is found, first in God, then in others. It was humbling, yet so very freeing at the same time. I realize now that everyone's hopes are not pinned on me, I'm not responsible for getting anyone, not even myself, out from under. Some things just are not in my scope of ability, they never were. My responsibility is to point them to the One who can!
Will I stop being a perfectionist? Probably not, it's how I'm wired. You can, however, rest assured I am aware that I can't do it in and of myself so I'm going to quit acting like I can. There's such freedom in embracing my interdependence with others and my total dependence on God; to realize I'm not really in control of anything and I don't have to be! It's not always easy to do, especially in a world that's in love with it's own independence, but it's God's design for us who belong to His Kingdom.
So you heard it here first folks. I'm turning in my gold bracelets and my lasso, exchanging the high red boots that hurt my feet for some Nikes, and giving back the bodysuit, which hasn't fit in years anyway! The Wonder Woman fantasy is officially over. I'm just me! Now you go out there and be just you!
Have an awesome weekend! :o)