Altered States

Okay, I just have to say one last thing about the bank card incident and then I promise I won't mention it again... on here anyway! I noticed that whenever I find myself in situations like that a funny thing happens. I "check out" and go someplace else in my mind. I have to, it's the only way I can get through it!

It's hard to explain, but I actually consider it a gift from God. It has also given me an empathy for the whole deer in the headlights phenomenon. I feel their pain, or the lack thereof, because I can honestly say I've been there. It's an out of body experience of sorts. Whatever it is, it gets me through.

In retelling the story to my friends I was asked many questions about my reaction, "Weren't you mad?" "Well did you make them fish it out and show you?" "Did you at least demand free food" and on and on it went usually ending with someone telling me what they would have done in my place...

That's all well and good, and while I appreciate their indignation on my behalf, it comes down to the fact that God knows me. He knows how badly I can show off and what a sharp, often deadly, tongue I can have. I believe that's why He has me "check out" in these kinds of situations. I've had incidents where the words were right on the tip of my tongue and I would have been justified too, but the Holy Ghost glued my tongue to the roof of my mouth and only sweet words came out. Leaving me, my brain, and often the other party dazed and confused cause we all know that is NOT what I meant to say!

Now I'm aware that from the outside it may look like I'm being docile or passive or whatever, and that's also a big deal because it used to be all about saving face for me. Over time though, that's become far less important and I must say that it's really best for everyone involved if I "check out" for a moment or two.

Perhaps the greatest thing about this is my whole reason for making this entry. More than anything these times serve as a reminder to me and a demostration to others of how real God's delivering power is! I'm telling you if He can shut my mouth... He can do anything!

It's an amazing thing to know that somewhere along the line my priority shifted from not wanting to be taken advantage of (which is important when you're vertically challenged and soft spoken!) to wanting God to get the glory in every situation. More than anything my desire is that everyone I interact with gets to see God in the way I conduct myself. I haven't always been able to say that and mean it. I don't always hit the mark, of course, but the misses are becoming fewer and less frequent. All I can do is praise God and encourage anyone out there who's struggling with anything that you are not a hopeless cause - He can and will get glory through you!

Oh wait! Before you leave here thinking I spend my days floating on a cloud practicing my harp, I should mention that I had one moment when I came dangerously close to snapping out. That was when Food Girl smiled at me and said, "Well, look on the bright side. At least you know someones not out there using it?" IS SHE KIDDING ME?! It took every ounce of strength I had not to yank her out of that window and into my car and show her a not so bright side...suddenly there were those headlights again... But God!

Have an awesome day!