Good Grief

Sandra and baby Danielle.

Sandra and baby Danielle.

Tomorrow will make two years since my youngest sister, Sandra, perished in a car accident. Since it's a Monday, we went to the cemetery today to leave flowers and pray. Once we got there it was okay, everyone retreated into his or her own private pain for a moment then we came together and my little sister prayed a prayer that brought heaven down. The good thing about it is that Sandra had given her heart to Jesus, so we know where she is and that she will see us again. Then on the way back home we laughed over memories of Sandra and her one-of-a-kind antics. It was a good time. What wasn't good was the time leading up to our trip. Everyone was slightly on edge... We all deal with grief in our own way. I was trying to stay positive and upbeat - and I was doing a good job too until... My sister, who is ALWAYS in a hurry, came to pick my mom, my nephew and I up. It just so happened that I had to use the ladies room before we left. I was washing my hands when my mom called my name for the gazillionth time in like 20 minutes and said, "Let's go!" in a tone that sounded like she thought perhaps I was downstairs counting carpet fibers or something! Instantly I was irritated and hollered back that I was coming - and I may have had a "tone" too...

I was putting my shoes on when she called down to me again and asked if I could drive and pick up my aunt and my cousin... Okayyy, sure, so I called their house to tell them I was on the way and got no answer... Jordan happened to come down to ask if I was riding with them. I said no and explained that I couldn't reach anyone at their house. He left, I assumed to tell my mom and my sister what was happening - but one should never assume...

I decided to wait a few minutes and try to call again. In the mean time my little sister, pops her head in the room and sees me sitting there and says "What are you doing? Cause we need to go!" Was she flippin' kidding me?! When I say that it took every ounce of everything in me not to blast her - I mean it! It wasn't her, but just that I was getting too many instructions/questions from too many different sources. That on top of dreading going to the cemetery at all and the fact that we even have to commemorate this day was almost more that I could take!

Then something kicked in inside of me. I remembered that we are not attacking each other for real, but we're grieving. Everyone was dreading the task at hand and I didn't have to react the way I was about to react. It took all of 30 seconds, but it turned my attitude around. In retrospect it's kind of humorous. I felt like I was trapped in some kind of bizarre sitcom! In fact, I'm sure my sister and I will laugh about it at work tomorrow (we work in the same bldg). My point here, however, is that taking that 30 seconds to get a grip made the difference between having a miserable experience or a good one. Thankfully this was a good one. Even so, I'm so glad we only have to do this once a year!

 Thumbnail Photo by Mike Castro Demaria on Unsplash